blogitto ergo sum

March 2, 2008

#127 – I Killed Kimberly

Filed under: Uncategorized — yael [ya-el] wagner @ 23:24
Tags: ,

It all started seven or eight weeks ago. Phone buzzes. I pick up. “Hello?”

“Can I speak to Kimberly please?”calling center

“There’s no Kimberly here, you got the wrong number.”

An hour or so the phone buzzes.

I pick up. “Hello?”

“Can I speak to Kimberly please?”

“There’s no Kimberly here, you got the wrong number.”

The following day we go through this 3 times. A different girl every time, all want to speak to Kimberly.

After a week or so, I’m not so nice any more.

“”Put your supervisor on”, I demand. By now, I figured that it’s not that Kimberly has an infinite number of girlfriends; all she has is one annoying calling center.

“There’s no supervisor available at this time” was the annoying answer. “I’ll hold.”

By the end of week 2 I agreed to be recorded saying “Do not call this number, there’s no Kimberly here, remove this number from your damn database”.

“Sure, thank you” was the response. On the following day, no surprises; the daily harassment goes on as usual.

Now I’m in Canada, and each call is airtime + roaming. Damn Kimberly. “Who are you?” I demand. “We are Beneficiary”.

“And what do you sell?”

“We sell nothing, it’s a service”

“Well, I don’t want your damn service, and don’t call. Can you please get it into your head and database?”

I’m recorded again.

And surely enough the calls continue.

By now, I’m in Barcelona and pissed.

“Can I speak to Kimberly please?”

“Can you hang yourself with the phone cord please?”

A second later, I already feel sorry. Not that poor girl’s fault. Working in a call center is pretty close to living hell in my mind. As always, the better response springs to mind AFTER the call. I should have killed Kimberly; that’s what I had to do. Veronique and Dan share the idea.

Luckily, I didn’t have to feel sorry for too long. The following day, as we walk to the Sun’s party, the phone rings and surely, it’s the same maddening number from area code 909.

“Can I speak to Kimberly please?”

Now I’m ready. In a sober, serious voice I say, “I’m sorry, Kimberly was killed in a car accident yesterday, and we’d really appreciate if you’d refrain from calling. It’s really hard on us.”RIP

A pause… “I’m so sorry”.

I hang up.

Jumping in a Barcelona street screaming “I did it; I killed Kimberly” felt great.

Needless to say, they had to call once more. And that was it.

RIP Kimberly.

Clipart credits:


1 Comment »

  1. Hey there! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally got
    the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from
    Humble Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep up the great

    Comment by Jenna Jameson — September 19, 2014 @ 04:43 | Reply

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