blogitto ergo sum

March 28, 2008

#128 – Year of the Ring

Filed under: family affairs,life matters,Opinionated — yael [ya-el] wagner @ 21:56
Tags: , ,

If you haven’t read it yet, please jump to #87 – Weddings Beware. It gives this blog the right context.

I hate weddings. Too much energy, effort and $$ spent on the wrong thing.
Finding the right one is among life’s biggest challenges. Finding the one for which the compromises required for a solid, happy, long-term partnership are done without a 2nd thought is, for some, on a scale of a miracle. It’s something that one feels deep inside, at the core of one’s essence, identity and being – if all goes well. Too often, the couples shift from Breaking the Glass to breaking the reunion.
It’s personal. It’s between you and your life partner.
And you are so happy. You want to shout it out loud, you want to share it… you want everyone to know.
Great, understood.  i am very-very happy for you.
But why does it have to be shared and communicated with such extravaganza? The louder the noise, the bigger the venue, the greater your happiness? I don’t think so. The richer the buffet, the richer the future? Not at all. If anything, the richer the buffet, the bigger the band, the greater the bills to pay.
And yet, so many do it; often more than once.
Having long experience in finding the wrong ones, I never got as far as doing it myself, and after going through too many as an observer, I realized that I simply don’t like weddings, don’t enjoy wedding; don’t care about weddings. Happy to share your joy, from afar. Don’t send me an invitation; send me the URL to your gift listing, or an account #. I’m happy for you, deeply, and would be happier if you wouldn’t ask me to go through the motions of “wow”, “this is amazing”, “of course I’d love to have a picture with you”… and “the food is so unique”… “your mom looks amazing tonight”… And yourself – WOW.

To be honest, I don’t limit my aversion to weddings. Bar Mitzvahs are just as bad. Coming to think about it, since my youngest brother’s Bar mitzvah, I’ve been exactly to one, and there were mitigating reasons.
Sorry, I’m kind of repeating myself, 2.5 years after I wrote #87. Why?
Because for me, this year, the Year of the Rat, is The Year of the Ring.
Not one, not two, THREE weddings I cannot escape. People are creative. The better they know you, the better they know how to manipulate guilt or just make it impossible for you to say NO!!! Israel, Germany and NYC, all in one year, all requiring my presence, all know me well enough to get me where they want, i.e. in their WEDDINGS.
The Israelis used multi-method “attacks”, spamming all my email addresses, phones…  and when we met in CA, in person. It’s hard to say “NO” to the people you love, it’s not so fair to use it against me. And it worked.

The Germans had a plan. They nominated me to be the bridesmaid/best person. Yes, that’s right. Call me when you collect yourself from the floor after you are done laughing.
How did they do it? Smartly. I’m to be the only one, chosen and appealed to by both, and as long as it’s not jeans, there’s no dress code for you. Out of all the things I could say, “no” didn’t seem like a real option. That’s timg src=”” alt=”” width=”320″ height=”252″ align=”right” />wo, one;”> more to go. And I will go. To Manhattan in November. Why? Because of my sheer stupidity, and… love for these great friends.muslim brides

I have these two great friends, sexual orientation does not matter, that when they moved-in together, happy as I were for them, I promised, scout’s honor, that should they ever chose to get married, I’ll make an exception and attend their wedding.

How on earth was I supposed to know that they’ll pick the same year? Didn’t I tell you? It’s my Year of the Ring.
Though my phone have been awfully quiet.

ClipArt Credits:

The Links that don’t work [in PDF version]– WHY???



  1. Very funny stuff, and impressive too
    The efficiency Germans’ Engineering and the doggedness of the Israelis

    Well the future things could go two ways.
    1) That’s it for weddings for the rest of your life after one busy ring year
    2) worse, people might think that having relented to three in one year that you are ready for more …

    I must send you a quick mail with some wedding horrors from 2006.

    Comment by Fionn — April 4, 2008 @ 06:15 | Reply

  2. […] [#128 – Year of the Ring], Ilona and Andreas already managed to get me to commit to attend their wedding.  So when Ilona […]

    Pingback by #151 – You May Kiss the Bride [part I] « blogitto ergo sum — June 21, 2010 @ 00:02 | Reply

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