blogitto ergo sum

June 21, 2010

#151 – You May Kiss the Bride [part I]

Filed under: life matters,see, absorb, enjoy — yael [ya-el] wagner @ 00:01
Tags: , , , ,
You May Kiss the Bride

The Deputy Commissioner cheat sheet

It took the happy couple a very long time and distance to hear these words, “You may kiss the bride”.  Given that they have been kissing for over 7 years, it had been quite a journey.

I don’t do weddings.  My own brother’s included.  Of course, you could say that I’m bitter because I didn’t have one, but that would be a cheap, petty thing for you to say and for me to do.  I really hate those things.  Read HERE and HERE for more on that.  Suffice it to say that I lost at least one friend for not attending her first daughter’s wedding.

Previously [#128 – Year of the Ring], the happy couple already managed to get me to commit to attend their wedding.  So when the bride called to tell me that they are coming over to get married during their honeymoon, I made no excuses and offered my backyard and production services.

Tree Hugger by Ahuvik (

“Nothing fancy, nothing flashy” was the motto.  At first I was to be the officiator, but then they changed their mind and wanted me as THE witness.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that in California anyone can officiate marriage.  Now I had to pick one, keeping in mind the significance of the event and the trust the couple has in me.  Having a choice often means having a challenge.  I wanted someone I respect and trust, someone that represents the impossible mix of love, sense of duty, passion and responsibility, commitment and integrity.  So I picked Jeet [Thank you].

How do you become an officiator in Santa Clara County, CA?  Apparently, this is one of the very few things you cannot do on-line.  So from “I have a personal favor to ask; would you please officiate the wedding of dear friends of mine” it became “can I please have a copy of your driver license”, all the way to the embarrassing “will you please-please make time to go to the County Clerk?”

We took a trip to the County Clerk.  Navigation and cash problems [they don’t accept Visa debit cards, and neither of us had the cash] were not about to distract us.  After all, not every day one is sworn to become a Deputy Commissioner.  I wonder if it’s something you could put down as a hobby.  There’s a short mandatory “training” session, cheat sheet to go, and the “you must say by the virtue of the authority vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.”  Everything else is optional.  Now I was driving a Deputy Commissioner.

Friday.  While the happy couple was taking care of all the paperwork and distracting me, I was busy preparing the location.  Backyard never looked so nice, and the tree hugger finally got his tree.

When you are all task-oriented and keep the to-do list running in your head while the hours slip from under your hands, it’s easy to forget the bigger picture.  It’s the union of two friends who came a long way to marry here.  It’s two friends who’d seen me in my worst time and reached out and offered hands, who came to share with me one of their best, greatest times.

None of this was on my mind until, while getting fresh beans @ Barefoot Café, I got Jeet’s proposed vows.  And then it hit me, actually brought tears to my eyes, and if you’ve been to Barefoot Café, you know it’s not really a place for tears.   They are getting MARRIED.  TODAY.  I’m the WITNESS. The only one.  This is for real.  I wiped my face, responded and reread.

In this Ring...
~ 7.5 hours of preparations left.  #152- You May Kiss the Bride, [Part II] will cover those and the wedding too.

Photographer: Urszula



  1. Love those vows. Maybe I’ll borrow them someday. Nice jobs Yael and Jeet!

    Comment by Ellen — June 21, 2010 @ 01:28 | Reply

  2. For someone who doesn’t like to go to weddings, you certainly missed your calling!

    Comment by Paul — June 28, 2010 @ 05:43 | Reply

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