blogitto ergo sum

October 7, 2011

#197 – Todah Raba, Thank You

Filed under: life matters,Opinionated,that Jewish thing — yael [ya-el] wagner @ 18:34
Tags: , , , , ,

a year ago, for yom Kippur, i had my very own slicha project, clearing my conscious of stuff i regretted and wanted to wash off my slate. i shared it with you in chapter #162.

a year had gone by; a year that was hard on me in many ways, and is ending with my birthday, the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, all lumped close together.  all of which  force me to do my annual bookkeeping, accounting, balance sheet… all too soon. and there’s no break.

i don’t feel the need for a major slicha project this year.  and it’s not that i think for a single moment that i was [remotely] perfect.  i was human.  i was wrong, i said things that could have remained unsaid… i was good, i was bad… i was sad.

it's a balancing act.

if i offended you, hurt you in any way, I’m truly sorry.  unintended.  really.  a blog’s slicha isn’t very personal you may say, feeling you are entitled to more.  sorry.  it ain’t coming.  this is my annual slicha.  this is it.  i need to balance it with the load of things i have to forgive; things i WANT to forgive and forget, and it’s a heavy enough load as it is.

playing back the year in my mind, reminiscing, the clearest, brightest emotion i hold for it is todah – thank you.  this was the year in which true friends came forward, often offering more than i asked for, more than i expected.  this year i had some amazing shoulders to lean on and i thank you with every bit of love, respect, joy, and friendship moments we shared.

thanking you for participating in my life is not a trivial act for me. i greatly value my friendships, and don’t ever take them lightly.  given that this is also the year in which i found myself telling a few that i recognize that we are no longer friends and that’s perfectly OK, meant accepting that some friendships come with an expiration date.  this makes the living friendships more meaningful, valued.thank you for everything you brought and added to my life this year, from getting me to submit to gym tortures, through moving some speech patterns from second nature to perfect stranger, all the way to practicing some silence and active listening.  thank you for allowing me to be me and yet calling my attention to when i should take me by the ear elsewhere.  thank you for lending me your time, ears, support, care.  thank you for sharing yours with me, thank you for the value you added to my life and for allowing me to contribute to yours.  your friendship is indeed the club i want a lifetime membership in.

TODAH!!! Gmar Hatima Tova!

clipart

http://www.israelbenevolencefund.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/todah-3.jpg
http://crystal-cure.com/pics/kit-harmony2.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3129/3113019503_1e0c1e1318.jpg
https://yaelol.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/worship.jpg?w=300
 
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4 Comments »

  1. Yael, gmar chatima tova to you as well. I wish you a better year than the last, and worse than the next… And happy birthday as well!

    Comment by Amiram Hayardeny — October 7, 2011 @ 19:02 | Reply

  2. Very lovely post. Happy birthday and gmar hatimah tova.That pile of rocks (the balancing act) might be a kairn, a method that people use in the wilderness to show others the way on unmarked paths. It seems symbolic in some way.

    Comment by ellen cohen — October 8, 2011 @ 16:59 | Reply

    • thank you.
      BTW, i think you meant cairn. and yes, i knew what it is. i chose it because it delivered the double meaning i was looking for. on one hand, it’s a balancing act, and a very minimalistic at that. on the other hand if offers DIRECTION. it’s built with the intent to help and guide.

      Comment by yael [ya-el] wagner — October 8, 2011 @ 20:08 | Reply


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