blogitto ergo sum

December 31, 2011

#203 – enter 2012, i’ve been waiting for you. go away 2011.

This year has been an unusual one. The greatest moments to cherish, remember, smile and learn from, moments loaded with care, love, attention, rewards, support and wisdom, were friends’ moments.  Sadly, so were the most painful disappointments. It’s the year of the most amazing birthday cake I ever had side-by-side with the most painful friendship-related disappointments from friends that their need to be right and smart came miles ahead of our friendship.  I called it and blogged it as “blinded by our vision,” recognizing that many of us, too often, let our predispositions dictate our perception, even when staring at reality.

It was only yesterday when S.S. told me “I know you gonna say it’s an ugly photo, because everybody else says it’s beautiful”.  So I refused to look at the photo.  When she made noises of offense, I said with a smile, “you already told the whole room what I’m going to think and say, why do I need to bother looking at it?  You decided all on your own what I’ll think.”  Needless to say, she didn’t like it.  I did.  And so did the others in the room, though only one did so vocally.  Sadly, I know the point didn’t get across.  Oh well.

This was the year in which I thanked friends and colleagues more than ever before, more than I can remember.  and it was all well deserved and more.  And this also is the year in which I deleted from my address book people I used to think of as friends but not anymore.

Luckily and amazingly for me, the good, loving, caring friendships surpass the bad ones in light years.  Thank you all; each and every one of you!

This is the year that I decided to eradicate passive-aggressiveness from my life as much as I possibly can.  Anyone who called to ask “why haven’t you called me” was welcome to talk to someone else.  I figured that the proper opening of a call, INSTEAD of the P-A opening quoted above, is to simply say “hi, I miss you; miss talking to you, what’s up?”  It did and does wonders to the conversation, to the friendship, to life.  Both of us smile and enjoy what follows.

This was the year of change, neither one, nor two.  Who’d imagine I’d last 7 months and counting of gym torture?  Who’d thought that I’ll get over a hopeless situation and the only frustration that lingers is the one regarding how long it took me to reach the insights that were there for me to learn from.  This is the year that I learned and shared a lot about my dad’s past.  Made him cry in the process, yet got to know so much more about him.  This is the first year EVER that I haven’t been to Israel, not even once.  Home, identity, roots, friends, being single and alone and learning to admit I hate it, career, this was an unbelievable year.  I’m so happy that 2011 has only a couple of hours of life left.  It’s a year to remember, but not to miss.

What do I wish for the New Year?  I don’t have any grandiose, greater than life wishes or resolutions.  More than making big NEW decisions, commitments, promises… I want to continue or end old ones.
Feel free to call me out if I fail to follow.  Seriously.

In this coming year, I wish for you and me,

  • Do more ____________________ [GYM: more workout, more gym torture, increase frequency, do those intervals, they are good for you; home cooking; flossing; listening; processing…]
  • Do less _____________________ [eating badly, talking, talking back, talking before thinking…]
  • Be more ____________________ [patient, happy, considerate…]
  • Stop [as much as you can]  _____________________ [teasing people who don’t get it, people who get it but don’t like it; procrastinating doing the things I don’t like doing…]
  • Be more of the person and the friend I want to be, even when it’s hard, embarrassing, challenging
  • Do better _____________________ [in the admin parts of life, from bills to tickets, moving those bags from the car to Goodwill, unpacking after a trip…]

And you know what, I don’t know how you will fill the blanks, but I can tell you one thing.  If I’ll manage to follow and execute on those humble 2012 goals and practices, it’ll be a wonderful year.

May you have the best year you wish for!

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4 Comments »

  1. I need to pledge the same on most accounts for this new year, but know that it is highly unlikely to happen.
    Procrastinate is my middle name.
    🙂
    But I hope you achieve all your goals, and then some.
    Talula

    Comment by T — January 2, 2012 @ 10:24 | Reply

  2. Wishing you a wonderful 2012!

    Comment by Lisa Pampuch — January 2, 2012 @ 13:00 | Reply

  3. Talula, Lisa, Melanie, and all of those who responded privately via email: it is your comments and encouragements that make the sharing and writing worth while beyond my own drive.

    thank you!!!

    Comment by yael [ya-el] wagner — January 2, 2012 @ 16:44 | Reply


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