blogitto ergo sum

March 26, 2012

#204 – you don’t have to… for a Great Hip-Hop video

I know, I’m not the most obvious Hip-Hop fan, and there are more than enough songs of this genre that I think of as impossible to listen to.  However, and against the critic and judgment of some of my better friends, there are more and more songs of this genre that I’d love to take with me to that deserted island that everyone wants to take their music to.  I much rather enjoy the music in the comfort of my living room, as long as the neighbors are not complaining about the volume, and we are not trying to actually have a conversation.  So Hip hop it is.  But not without some observations and reservations.  In rock, I never bought into the belief that one has to wave one’s long hair in all directions to deliver a better, higher quality performance.  I think they were called the big hair bands.  After watching  too much of the Hip Hop Shop on Fuse, i have my little Hip Hop you-DON’T-have-to list.

You don’t have to

Include neither half-naked, nor butt-naked bimbos in the video for it to be successful.

Blow lots of Benjamins in the wind for the audience to know you are successful

50 Cent.

Write shawty into the lyrics.  Really.  A song can stand on its own, and succeed without shwaty.

Include the n-word in the lyrics. Or the song’s name.  and then ask the whites NOT to use the song’s name?  Can you imagine Gene Simmons including “Jew” or “Jewish” in the lyrics of every KISS song.  Or any of the derogatory alternatives.

Shot a $250K+ car in the video.  Or mention your Maybach in the lyrics.  I won’t think any less of the song without a fancy car reference.

once upon a time a $350K Maybach

Tell me your name.  You are most likely the reason I chose to listen to the song.  Trust me; I do remember your name.  If you have difficulties remembering your name, one of those heavy weights you carry around your neck can hold your name for you as a reminder.  I don’t think I can say anything remotely positive about your engraving of your stage name on your body.  Are you that forgetful? Need people to recognize your back?

no zip code?

Touch yourself.  Pet your nature-given equipment and accessories.  Rearrange them.  Don’t know what to do with your hands?  Exercise your hand grip.  It’ll look better, yet will be as irrelevant as keeping your hands in your crotch is.

Use all the banned words the media won’t broadcast or beep over.  Can you imagine how great it is to listen to your song without having to guess what you were saying?  I swear it is possible to express yourself without make use of every 4-letter word you ever heard and then some.  Nicki Minaj’s Starships is the latest in including words that radio doesn’t like.  I have to admit, it makes me laugh every time I hear the distorted sounds masking the mother-f$%&#$.  Does it sell more?  I doubt it.


Give it a try.  Hey, you may find it refreshing.  And maybe, just maybe, getting rid of the same old, same old will allow you some new creativity?  New moves?  Will give shawty a break?  I’m sure I could get my mom to enjoy some of these truly amazing songs if the videos were not so out of her comfort zone.

There are enough videos that don’t have any of the components listed about, and boy, aren’t they amazing?

I choke every time Lil Wayne’s “How to Love” is on.  And it’s not because he left his shirt at home.  The life story of the girl, from her mother’s unplanned motherhood via prostitution to HIV is told with such sensitivity that I literally choke every time.

The part that I love best in Otis is not the bimbos in the torched Maybach, or Jay-Z’s crotch grabbing.  It is the sheer joy Kanye and Jay-Z radiate that makes me smile, enjoy a dose of optimism…

Otis - sheer joy.


Getting ready to torch the Maybach:×350.jpg
Otis-Pure joy:
Hand grip:
Flo Rida:
Nicki Minaj:
50 cents, got money:
Lil Wayne, how to love:
Otis Video:

1 Comment »

  1. Side note – on Otis, that Maybach after got auctioned off and all the money went to charity.

    Comment by Andrew G — September 3, 2012 @ 10:20 | Reply

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