blogitto ergo sum

July 9, 2014

The Girl Next Door is Black’s post: Potty-Mouthed Street Kids & Other Tales of Harassment

Filed under: life matters,Opinionated — yael [ya-el] wagner @ 14:18
Tags: , ,

Post thoughts re: Potty-Mouthed Street Kids & Other Tales of Harassment.

Is it Safe? source:

Until recently, this girl and I worked together.  It’s only after we went our separate ways that we got together and found out that we both blog.  [Well, most recently I have had more blogging intentions than posts.  Working on it.]

A couple of days after we had coffee together, i read her blog for the first time.  The post is Potty-Mouthed Street Kids & Other Tales of Harassment. I read about her limb grabbing and I nod, San Francisco is full of weirdoes. Here’s a story of a disturbing one. And as I read on, incident after incident, a growing sense of discomfort and unease fills me. This is not how I go through life, this is not how I experience life. Taking a cab, walking down the street, getting on a SF bus… after all, I take the NYC subway without a 2nd thought.

Years ago, visiting NYC from Canada, and meeting an Israeli friend, visiting from Israel, I understood with the internal insight of a strong truism, what the victim’s look means. Observing her approaching me, her walk was out of step, it had the wrong rhythm. She stopped to look around and take pictures, not more often than me, but in a way that disturbed more people than was needed. There was a lot of talk about the victim’s look at that time. It was before New York became safe again. And looking at her, I knew that her chances to get mugged are much higher than mine.

But this is different. No one will ever consider describing Keisha as suffering from a victim’s look. I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. And yet…

So what is it? Keisha?



  1. It’s a good question, the answer for which is beyond me. I’ve been street harassed from an early age, called rude names for not giving a guy my phone number, grabbed inappropriately, etc. It’s happened even while traveling, just in different languages ( with some more crude than others).

    Comment by thegirlnextdoorisblack — July 13, 2014 @ 09:05 | Reply

    • Can it be tuned out?

      Comment by yael [ya-el] wagner — July 13, 2014 @ 12:02 | Reply

      • To a degree yes, I know I already do. Hence the, “getting used to it” line in my blog post.

        We all wear invisible masks and carry invisible burdens, some of which we may not even be aware, in response to our environment. We grow accustomed to our masks and burdens, whether they be associated with our gender, our ethnicity, culture, height, physical abilities, etc. In particular I wanted to write this post because these are things that many women experience throughout their lives and don’t talk about because it’s just accepted as how things are. Sometimes we need to examine because change needs to happen. In this case, we need to continue to teach more boys and men that women aren’t their personal playthings or objects for their personal enjoyment. Women need to know that they shouldn’t feel shamed or at fault for being attacked or harassed.

        A 16-year old girl was drugged, raped and photos were taken. Some of her male classmates think it’s FUNNY and mocked her all over social media. This sadly isn’t the first time such a story has been told. That’s gotta change. It’s not okay for people to behave this way.

        Comment by thegirlnextdoorisblack — July 14, 2014 @ 11:32

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        Comment by Debrah — August 26, 2014 @ 06:04

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        Comment by Berlynn — November 12, 2014 @ 22:10

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